It’s been a bit chilly here the last couple of days. I prefer colder weather, but let me clarify that. I prefer it as long as I don’t have to be out in it, ever. I don’t need an excuse to drink more hot drinks or curl up in my cozy bed, but it helps.

Repairman didn’t make it out and laundry is put on hold til Monday. I think today I will begin some smaller projects, catch up on some podcasts and binge some Absolutely Fabulous on Hulu. Lazy days, amirite?

Constantly On My Mind

I’ve had an old family friend on my mind recently. It started a while ago, he’d creep into my thoughts. Over the course of the week, he’s been a permanent fixture. I remember few details about him and his family. His daughter was years older than me, but she was like a sister. He and his wife were very sweet and took my mom and I in when she divorced. I know they met years before that when they attended the same church. He wasn’t creepy and nothing happened, he was just always very nice to me. He listened and made me feel better about things. Other than that, it wasn’t an incredibly memorable connection.

So I do find it odd to be thinking about him so much. And, it’s not like I’m reminiscing.. it’s more like, his image is just in my head. I suppose I could do some online detective work, just not sure what I remember will be enough to find anything.

Thoughts On This Week

Overall, I think it was productive. I’m not going to lie, it got really tough there for a bit. Choosing to be happy and remain motivated can be grueling. And for the sake of keeping it real… I definitely had a couple moments of crying on my knees begging for some mercy. Begging for pieces to fall into place and to be granted that sweet stability.

I understand I have to keep putting in the work, that’s the only way to find serenity. I have to remember that it’s okay to falter, it’s not okay to hate myself for it.

Looking To Next Week

I’m going to continue organizing and decluttering. I want to find some new recipes and get started with cooking more. I’ll keep it simple, probably just keep to ingredients I know I like. Eventually I will branch out and incorporate new things. Also, I have so many audio books I haven’t listen to. I miss reading, it’s just too hard on my eyes. I was thinking of finding some arts and crafts to do, I need some hobbies. I use to be interested in alot of things, seems like I’ve forgotten most of them.

That’s what I’m really looking forward to… rediscovering myself and at the same time, redefining myself.