I’m in a little better headspace this morning so I thought I’d get some things down. I do this blog for myself and although it’s public, I’m really not fussed about it being read. If what I say resonates on any level with anyone, then great. Writing has always been easier than talking for me, it’s slow and deliberate, I can process all the muck better.

I was going to write something a couple weeks ago, I was in high spirits and ready to tackle so many things. At first after things started to happen I was fine. My routine didn’t change much, I didn’t go shopping anymore and started using grocery delivery but that was it. I realized the other day, I haven’t left my house since March. I’m sitting here, expecting a delivery in a few hours and I dread the thought of ever entering a store again. It was always anxiety inducing but now, it’s panic inducing. I’m sure once I started I’d be okay after a couple times but dude, I can’t handle crowds right now.

I did get back on track with keto and working out, though my form of exercise is just me dancing. I also finally bought the yoga mat I had in my cart for months, so progress. I haven’t taken on much of a beauty routine but have been paying more attention to my nails and face. It feels silly at times but does help me feel better.

Boys are great, even with everything. They are definitely my sons in times like these.. I’m thankful for that.

I’ve been struggling more than I want to admit. Things have felt so hopeless for such a long time and now they’re erupting. I’ve been in a depression the last few weeks, taking time off from Twitter. My saving grace has been TikTok.. go figure. The individuals I’ve encountered there are hell bent on spreading positivity and love. It’s been refreshing and a much needed time out. I do still stumble around on Reddit and occasionally Pinterest. But Twitter, dude I just can’t.

I should go do other productive things, taking a moment to write something has vastly improved my mental health.